Just a matter of time

So… Here’s what I thought: I thought that maybe, If I hadn’t lost her I’d be OK right now. I mean, all went wrong when she left me and I got depressed, right?, so if she hadn’t, I’d be O.K., Right?

So after some thinking I found my way 'round to the time machine and went back, Piece o’ Cake: I just had to stop the guy from meeting her so I could still be her only choice, right?

Well, turns out that It wasn’t so… Ooooooooooh, man, how stupid: I did everything right, I mean, since I still live in the same house in the future I just had to leave myself a note (warned not to open it until the date of my departure) advising myself to take the time-traveling trip so I could do what I was doing.

So I found the guy and I snatched him and I took him to a place I knew, from my research, no one was going to visit in years, so I was safe to keep him there until she and I were a real item.

It was pretty boring, but I found my way around it… every now and then I snook up to my house to grab some food, after all, I have never changed locks. It couldn’t be easier.

So, finally, engaged and all, I mean, my old me and her, I let the guy go and, since he never met her, he’d never bother me, also, he never saw my face, and even if he did, my old me had an alibi and no motive. Perfect!

So I get into the machine and head back.

Now, I’m expecting to start getting memories like wedding and anniversaries and stuff like that, but nothing happens. I still remember the trip, so my guess is that my old self read the note and made the travel, right? WRONG!

I arrive to my time into my home, the machine stops, I get out of it in the living room and next thing I know there’s a giant guy pointing at me with a gun that seems larger than I am.

First of all, the guy looks at me like as if he had seen a ghost, then he looks at the machine, and then, to me again.

“Honey”, he says, calling someone in the bedroom, “that nutcase of your ex just popped into the living room out of nowhere, just like he said he would, do I shoot him, or you want to bring him the note?”

I recognized her voice immediately: “Wait, darling, let's see what happens”.

Sounds of drawers from the bedroom, while the giant guy tells me that he could shoot me If he wanted to, after all, this was HIS home and I had a restraining order to keep away from HIS wife.

I still have no new memories about what happened after I changed time, but my guess is that somewhere along the line something had to go really, really wrong.

So, now here she is, with a letter in hand. In the front, there’s the note I left myself, but in the back, in my own handwriting, there’s another note that reads: “Man, you can keep her if you want, I’m out, I wanted to be here to see you arrive, but turns out that the F***ng B***ch took the house, the car and the money in the divorce, Thank You Very Much for making my life miserable. P.S.: I’m not making the f***ng travel, but turns out that you were mistaken, as the owner of the machine tells me: you are not in the same timeline, but in a parallel world your travel created, so I’m forever screwed with this life you gave me, and you’re screwed too, because you are still popping up here, with no home, no money and no friends, and I’m not helping you, you bastard”

So I finish reading the note, give it back to them and the last thing I hear the big guy say is: “Pretty good actor this nutcase of yours, honey”. Then, turning towards me, he says: “but once again, man, you’re trespassing”.

BANG!